Project 310 - Nightmares

Season 1, Episode 10 - “Nightmares”
Original airdate: May 12, 1997
Project 310 re-watch date: Dec. 31, 2008

This episode features the nightmares of all the people in Sunnydale coming true, thanks to a boy who’s in a coma after being attacked by his “kiddie league” baseball coach (and how sad is it that they couldn’t use the actual term Little League?). It’s one of those “only on The Hellmouth” developments that was pretty common in Season 1 and early in Season 2, before the show really started to develop quality Big Bads.

This episode has so many things to like about it, that I’m just going to start listing them:
-Giles’s explanation of the situation to Xander and Willow as simply “Billy”, to which Xander responds “Well, that explanation was shorter than usual”.
-Really, all of the nightmares are hilarious, but my personal favorite is, as usual, Cordelia’s.
-Again with the Willow stagefright and Alyson’s fear of singing.
-Xander being completely oblivious to the trail of chocolate bars leading him into another nightmare is so typical of his character and so damn great.
-We finally get some damn interaction between Buffy and The Master. Hell, in Season 7, The First was incorporeal and still interacted more with Buffy than the Master did.
-The Master using the line “a dream is a wish your heart makes” (originally from “Cinderella”) is just so damn funny.

I need to address one thing I like in much longer form: one of Buffy’s nightmares was being buried alive (which led to the only appearance on the series of Vampire Buffy). It was easy to dismiss this, since it only lasted about 4 minutes, but this was a little thing the writers of the series planted early on, and then brought back in Season 6. In “Bargaining”, when Buffy is resurrected, she’s still stuck in her coffin. It’s her greatest fear actually brought to life, and her closest friends are responsible for it. I believe that in some way this act, more so than the resurrection itself, is what leads to her disorientation early in Season 6 (of course, that should be more for a discussion on “Bargaining” than on “Nightmares”, but I’m still not sure I’m going to continue Project 310 after 3/10, so I’ll address it here.)

My one big gripe with this episode is the introduction of what I’ll call “Joss Whedon’s Daddy Issues”. Hank Summers is such an ass to Buffy in her nightmare interaction with him, and is, for the most part, an absentee dad anyway. Buffy isn’t the only character with dad issues, far from it. Not only did Angel kill his father (and his mother, and pretty much all of his family), but hated his father long before he became a vampire. Wesley had a terrible relationship with his father, detailed so perfectly in the Angel Season 5 episode “Lineage”. The antics of Xander’s father helped lead to the riot at his aborted wedding to Anya. I could go on with more examples, but it definitely seemed after awhile that Joss had a bit of a hidden agenda here (and trust me, I’m far from the first person to point this out), and this was the episode where it all started.

Last thought on this episode -- for a one-off (that is, not directly related to the story of the Big Bad) episode in Season 1, this episode saw a lot of merchandise produced for it. The series 1 PALz figures for Xander and Willow were based on this episode. There was also a separate Vampire Buffy PALz figure, a 6-inch Vampire Buffy and a 12-inch Vampire Buffy. I guess when you do alternate versions of the characters on the show, it lends itself to easy marketing tie-ins, but that seemed like a little much (and this is coming from a guy who owns just about every piece of Buffy-related merchandise there is to own).

Fave 5 - Movies (Part I)

So I’m sitting here, watching “Serenity” for the 9,000th time (that estimate may be a little high), but the first time on Blu Ray, and I figure now’s as good a time as any to write about my Top 10 movies of all time (which I’ve promised at many times in the past in this blog).

It’s worth pointing out that “Serenity” is one of a handful of movies I’ve purchased 3 times. I’ve got it on DVD, HD DVD and Blu Ray. I can think of 2 other movies I’ve purchased 3 times, and they’re both also in my Top 10.

Let me be clear -- these are not the movies I think are the 10 best of all-time (though some of them are definitely high on that list too).

10. I Know What You Did Last Summer
This is another of those movies I’ve bought 3 times (VHS, DVD, Blu Ray) -- and it was actually the first movie I ever owned on DVD. Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sarah Michelle Gellar in the same movie? That’s just freakin’ awesome. Plus, as cheesy as the plot is, this is actually kind of a fun movie to re-watch.

(An aside here. When I first referenced my Top 10 movies, I made mention that “Clueless” was on my list. But one of the movies on my current list was released since I made that reference, so “Clueless” goes bye-bye.)

9. Field of Dreams
This movie used to be higher on my list, but the more I’ve seen it, the harder it is to rewatch. Still, I could watch the last 20 minutes or so (starting with Timothy Busfield’s arrival at the field, just before James Earl Jones’ classic speech) from now until eternity. And yes, I cry at the end. So what. Every guy does, even if he won’t admit it.

8. Independence Day
And here’s the other movie I’ve purchased 3 times (VHS, DVD, Blu Ray) -- and saw 3 times in theaters the day it opened. I still watch it every year on the 4th of July. Sure, you may think the way the humans defeat the aliens (using a computer virus uploaded from a PowerBook) is stupid, but I love it. It’s a modern take on the ending to “War of the Worlds”. Plus, this is the first movie in which Will Smith is a total badass. The one thing that disappoints me about this is the special effects, which seemed so cool in 1996, look pretty rough on Blu Ray. High definition doesn’t allow filmmakers to hide anything.

7. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
I was never a big “Star Trek” fan, but somehow I’ve purchased every single one of the movies on DVD. Still, this is an incredible movie. I love the villain, Khan, who is really the anti-Kirk. If they’d ended the entire Star Trek lore right here, it probably would have been a perfect wrap to the story. KKKKHHHHHHHAAAAAAANNNNNNN!

6. Scarface
I remember once describing this movie as the perfect perversion of the American dream. It’s ridiculously violent, and ridiculously over the top, but in many ways, that’s what America is, and has been for oh, 250 years or so (give or take a decade). Plus, how can you not love “say hello to my little friend!”? It might be the most quotable line in movie history.

Coming next week: the 2nd part of my Top 10 movies (and if you’ve been paying attention to my blog for the past 6 years, you should know all of them already).

Project 310 - The Puppet Show

Season 1, Episode 9 - “The Puppet Show”
Original airdate: May 5, 1997
Project 310 re-watch date: Dec. 30, 2008

I have to admit, this episode didn’t hold up quite as well as I thought it would. I remembered it as a smart, funny episode, but really it’s a half-decent episode with some smart, funny bits. That’s not to say it’s bad (really, the only bad episode in Season 1 is “The Pack”), but it’s not a classic either.

The main problem with the episode is the writers -- Rob Des Hotel and Dean Batali -- keep trying to throw us off the track of a demon who we weren’t really keeping track of anyway. First Morgan might be the bad guy, then Sid the Dummy might be the bad guy, but really the bad guy is some random kid (Mark, the magician in the talent show) that we didn’t even think twice about. As an aside, this is the same problem that many procedural dramas have in their writing.

I did actually like the character of Sid the Dummy, and I kind of wish they’d brought him -- or the spirit that inhabited him -- back at some point during the run of the series. He did make a significant guest appearance in the “Buffy: Chaos Bleeds” video game, but that’s non-canon, so it doesn’t count.

This is the first time we get a glimpse of Willow’s fear of public performing as a character trait. It reappears in the very next episode, “Nightmares”, and shows up again in the season 4 finale, “Restless” (plus, Alyson Hannigan’s own fear of singing leads to Willow having almost no lines in “Once More, With Feeling”). It’s nice when things like this get established early on and don’t disappear through the years.

I understand that when a show lasts for 7 seasons (now 8, if you include the canonical Dark Horse comic), characters grow and mature along the way, but sometimes things we see early on should stick with them. This was one of the biggest faults of “Charmed” -- the characters we saw in Season 8 bore little resemblance to the season 1 versions of those same characters. Every show on TV should have some form of Show Bible to remind the writers about the key character traits of everyone on the show -- “Lost” has a legendary version of this in chart form, and it shows in the level of detail on the show.

Also, in my write-up of the previous episode, “I Robot, You Jane”, I mentioned that you could tell from Giles and Jenny’s bickering that they were destined to be together. Well, this is the episode where Xander and Cordelia start to reach that level. Once you know that they end up there, it adds a whole new level to the spats in these early episodes.

SportsBytes #3.10 - Happy Birthday LeBron James

• That’s right, today is LeBron’s 24th birthday, which just amazes me, because when I was 24, I was still figuring out what to do with my life (not to mention figuring out how to take apart a 17-inch iMac), but LeBron’s already one of the most accomplished players of his generation -- and he’s only 24!

• If I told you a coach had a .500 record over the last 3 years, hadn’t made the playoffs once in that span, and blew a 3-game lead with 3 games to play, you probably wouldn’t be surprised if that coach got fired. But somehow, I was still surprised when Mike Shanahan got canned today. Then again, I was also kind of surprised to hear those were Shanahan’s credentials. He’s won just 1 playoff game since John Elway retired. Ouch.

• Last night, the news broke that apparently the Dodgers are trying to trade Andruw Jones to the Mets. No, no, no, a thousand times, no. I cannot begin to express how opposed to this situation I am. Let’s just break down some of the facts:
-Jones hit .158 in 209 at-bats last year. He’s the only outfielder in MLB history with that low of a batting average and at least 200 at-bats in a single season (and he “earned” $15 million dollars for it!).
-Jones had an OPS+ of 34. League average is 100. The only player with a worse OPS+ and at least 200 AB was Tony Peña, who’s a slick-fielding shortstop on a terrible team.
-Only 1 outfielder had at least 200 AB and fewer RBI than Jones’s 14 -- Endy Chavez! So I guess, technically, Jones is an upgrade over Chavez -- a $13 million dollar upgrade.

• Andre Smith’s suspension for possible improper contact with an agent opens up the possibility that Utah could actually win my fictional national championship. Boise State already lost its bowl game, leaving Utah as the only FBS unbeaten. Alabama’s offense was significantly worse in the one game it played this season without Smith -- the best left tackle in the nation -- so the Utes might not be as overmatched as previously thought. Of course, if Utah wins in a suspension-tainted game, I might have to reconsider my stance on the whole “unbeaten” thing.

Project 310 - I Robot, You Jane

Season 1, Episode 8 - “I Robot, You Jane”
Original airdate: April 28, 1997
Project 310 re-watch date: Dec. 29, 2008

Prior to this episode, we’d had 2 Xander-centric episodes, but none centered around Willow. That changed with “I Robot, You Jane”, which featured Willow being semi-seduced by a demon that was accidentally trapped in the Internet. I know that concept seems incredibly absurd now, but back in 1997, it was a little more believable (at least, as believable as something like that could be in the confines of a show about demons and vampires and whatnot).

One of the things that always bothered me about this episode -- and still does upon rewatching -- is that the robot Moloch that’s built at the end of the episode looks so much worse than the demon Moloch from the beginning of the episode. In fact, Moloch was one of the better demon makeup jobs from the early seasons.

This episode also served as the debut for Jenny Calendar (played by the attractive and incredibly nice Robia LaMorte). It’s funny, but you could tell from the bickering between Jenny and Giles during the scene in the library that they were destined to be a couple (people on TV don’t fight like that unless they secretly have a thing for each other).

When Jenny says “I know” after Giles tells her “there’s a demon in the Internet”, the writers of the episode were obviously going for a red herring that people would ever so briefly think Jenny was evil. Obviously, that wasn’t the case, and the line doesn’t have nearly the same effect upon re-viewing the episode. One thing that is enhanced is the effect of Jenny debuting one episode after Angel’s curse is revealed. There didn’t seem to be any connection at the time, but it became pretty obvious a season later.

Sometimes I see episodes with great lines and they don’t seem as memorable the second (or third, or fourth, or ninth) time. But in this case, when Jenny calls out Buffy and Xander on being in the library so often, and Xander responds “To read makes our speaking English good”, I laughed out loud. It’s still funny, and it’s even funnier when Buffy scolds him for saying something so stupid as they leave the library.

Random question: why is Giles screaming the incantation to trap Moloch as if they’re in the same room, when really he’s just dictating it to Ms. Calendar? I understand the whole idea behind dramatic effect, but it seems kind of silly.

At the end of the episode, Buffy and Xander cheer up Willow by recalling their strange relationships, and Buffy says, “Let’s face it: none of us are ever going to have a happy, normal relationship.” It’s amazing how true that ends up being. Let’s pull up the scorecard for each of them.

Buffy had relationships with Angel (turned evil, sent to hell, left for L.A.), Parker (used her), Riley (left for the Army) and Spike (died).

Xander had relationships with Cordelia (cheated on her) and Anya (left her at the alter, she died) -- not to mention the one-episoders who always tried to kill him.

Willow had relationships with Oz (turned into a werewolf, left her), Tara (she got shot) and Kennedy (she turned into Warren when she kissed Kennedy).

And I thought my relationships sucked.

Project 310 - Angel

Season 1, Episode 7 - “Angel”
Original airdate: April 14, 1997
Project 310 re-watch date: Dec. 28, 2008

Part of the fun in doing something like this is seeing if certain episodes are really as good as you remember. I always considered “Angel” one of the better episodes of the early seasons.

Rewatching it, there’s no doubt the episode holds up through the years. It’s incredibly well-written (thanks for that goes to David Greenwalt, who would end up becoming the head writer on “Angel”), and everything ties together. There’s really nothing to dislike about the episode.

The episode serves as the set-up to years of Buffy-Angel relationship drama, Xander vampire hatred (and specifically Angel hatred) and is chock full of those great little details that make “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” so good. For example, when Buffy and Angel are fleeing from The Three, Buffy says a quick “get in” to Angel, serving as the invite he needs (even though she doesn’t know it at the time).

Even though she’s dusted in this episode, this is far from the last we’ll see of Darla. Also, she’s much closer to the Darla we’ll come to know than she was in the first two episodes. This is mainly because the creators of the show had intended Darla to die in “The Harvest” but decided to make her a bigger part of Angel’s backstory, which explains the huge disparity in the character during this season.

Some people complain about Angel’s assertion that he never fed on a human after he was cursed by the gypsies -- since we see in later episodes of “Angel” that it’s far from the truth. I’ve got no problem with it. The way I see it, Angel was using hyperbole to simplify the situation. It probably wouldn’t have been as comforting to Buffy if Angel had said, “and I’ve kind of never fed on humans, except for those years when I killed rapists and murderers to fit in with my vampire friends, and that time I turned the guy on the submarine because he was dying, and that time I drank the blood of the hold-up victim who was already dead.” Do you see how not comforting that body count is?

The way Darla taunts Angel when he’s waiting for Buffy to come and kill him is VERY similar to how The First taunts him before he intends to immolate himself in “Amends”. In fact, once I get around to “Amends” in this whole thing, I’ll have to go back and do a side-by-side comparison of the scenes.

One last thing. I really like that immediately after dusting Darla, Angel shares that look with Buffy, then walks away. It completely fits the m.o. we’d come to expect from Angel over the years. He wasn’t exactly one for the big emotional show, at least not frequently. He then follows that up by showing up at the Bronze. If there was one thing we could count on from Angel more than the dramatic walk away, it was the dramatic “better late than never” come back.

God, I love this show.

This Week in Buffy History: Dec. 28-Jan. 3

December 29
1970 - Kevin Weisman born (played Dreg in Season 5)

December 30
1980 - Eliza Dushku born (played Faith)

December 31
1965 - Geoff Meed born (played Andrew Vorba in Episode 1.05 “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”)
1973 - Kristen Winnicki born (played Gwen Ditchik in Season 2)

Project 310 - The Pack

Season 1, Episode 6 - “The Pack”
Original airdate: April 7, 1997
Project 310 re-watch date: Dec. 27, 2008

And here we are, at my least-favorite episode of the entire series (and amazingly, one of Joss Whedon’s favorites).

The whole idea of the episode -- the spirits of demonic hyenas possessing a group of high school students -- is just insanely stupid.

I just cannot stand watching Xander act like a jerk, even if it is the byproduct of stupid animal demonic possession. He’s a complete ass to Willow and practically assaults Buffy. None of this is entertaining in any way.

There are some things I do like about this episode:
1) Buffy thinking that Herbert the pig was cute is definitely foreshadowing the appearance of Mr. Gordo (her stuffed pig).
2) the gym teacher reminds me of a character from “Dodgeball”. He’s unintentionally hilarious.
3) though it’s done in a completely disgusting way, Principal Flutie does meet his untimely end, making room for Principal Snyder, who would become one of the great psuedo-villains of the show.

I’d write more about this episode, but really, I just don’t like it and I don’t like writing about what I don’t like. Fortunately, the next episode is an all-time classic, and the rest of Season 1 from here on out is pretty damn good.

Project 310 - Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

Season 1, Episode 5 - “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
Original airdate: March 31, 1997
Project 310 re-watch date: Dec. 26, 2008

This is one of the longer episode titles in the 7-season run of the show, and it features another of Buffy's attempts at a normal life in her first year in Sunnydale. In "Witch" it was cheerleading, in “Teacher's Pet" it was homework, now it's dating.

Buffy's paramour, Owen, with his brooding and his love of poetry and his chronic ignorance of Cordelia's advances, is basically a lame pre-Angel version of Angel. It's almost like the writers were giving Buffy's ideal qualities in a man a test run before applying them to a more long-term character.

The more I watch these early episodes, the more I feel bad for Xander. I kind of just want him to come out and tell Buffy how he feels (then again, when he does finally do that, it backfires completely, so maybe he had the right idea with his whole "pining from afar" method).

For those that care about these things, the main demonic story features the rise of a powerful vampire known as "The Anointed One". The big reveal at the end -- that The Anointed One is a child vampire -- is kind of shocking the first time you see it, but loses something upon re-watching. It also doesn't help that The Anointed One turns out to be the lamest Buffy villain this side of The Trio.

One of the things I really like about this episode is the sarcasm level is off the charts. Buffy even calls Giles out on it at one point. The writers really had the biting sarcasm down in these early seasons (the credit for this episode goes to the duo of Rob Des Hotel and Dean Batali). As the tone of the show got more serious (pretty much right in the middle of season 2), sometimes the humor fell a little more flat. But it's right on point here.

Two more things about this episode, and then I'm done:

1) the line "Hello, salty goodness", when Cordelia sees Angel for the first time is reused in Season 4 of Angel in the episode "Spin the Bottle", when the Angel team loses their memories and Cordelia re-meets Angel for the first time. Knowing this, the line is even funnier here.

2) The music in this episode is very late ‘90s, but very good. The choice of songs fit with every scene. This was actually a staple of shows on The WB during this time (I was a regular “Charmed” viewer too, and music was a big part of that show).

Project 310 - Teacher's Pet

Season 1, Episode 4 - “Teacher’s Pet”
Original airdate: March 25, 1997
Project 310 re-watch date: Dec. 25, 2008

This is the first episode of the series that features Xander as its central character -- in previous episodes, both Willow and Buffy had been placed in danger’s way, but not Xander -- and fittingly, it starts off with a Xander daydream.

Since Xander eventually had a long-term relationship on the show with Cordelia and then Anya, it’s easy to forget how focused on Buffy his early romantic efforts were.

Of course, this episode is also the first of many, many times that Xander’s misguided attempts at love put him right in harm’s way. To recap, substitute teacher Natalie French shows up (played by total hottie Musetta Vander), but is actually a she-mantis looking for virgin high school boys to mate with, then feed on.

It’s easy to forget about, and even dismiss, the whole “fork guy” subplot, but he actually plays an integral role in the episode. Without him, Buffy, Willow and Giles wouldn’t have found Xander in time. He also represents Buffy’s willingness to use vampires as something more than just stake-fodder. Though “fork guy” ends up getting staked, he’s the first (if an unwilling first) of many demon informants (not counting Angel, who at this point still hasn’t been revealed to be a vampire).

Speaking of Angel, Xander’s dislike for him shows up in this episode for the first time. Combine that with Xander’s early dislike for vampires in “The Harvest”, and its easy to see why Xander never really likes Angel, even once he’s moved beyond his crush on Buffy. It’s nice to see a character trait that showed up in the first four episodes of the show get carried throughout all 7 seasons.

Fave 5 - Best Things Ever

Last week I wrote about this year’s candidates for the fictional title of “Best Thing Ever” and declared “The Dark Knight” the best thing of 2008. But is it the best thing ever? Well, here are my Fave 5 all-time candidates for that title.

5. 2000 - Britney Spears’s “Oops I Did it Again” album
Technically, this isn’t even my favorite Britney Spears album anymore, having been passed by “Blackout” and “Britney”, but when it came out, it was definitely among the best things ever. The main reason for that is because it was released the day before my 20th birthday. I received 5 copies of it for my birthday that year (no I didn’t keep all 5).

4. 1991 - Michael Jordan’s baseline dunk against the Knicks
This was the “Best Thing Ever” until 1996. Seriously, just check out this video. He’s double-teamed, but still escapes baseline ad dunks over a Hall-of-Fame center. Freakin’ Awesome.

3. 2007 - LeBron James
Really, just for this. I could watch the fourth quarter and overtimes of that game a million times and not get tired of it.

2. 2008 - The Dark Knight
Best. Movie. Ever.

1. 1996 - “You Only Move Twice”
Also known as the episode of the Simpsons with Hank Scorpio (pictured above). When I named this as my favorite sitcom episode of all-time, I re-watched it. It’s even better today than I remembered it. I watched it again last week. The joke about the Denver Broncos is hilarious. Plus, the Broncos won their division in 1996, then won the Super Bowl in 1997 and 1998, meaning that Homer Simpson might be the greatest owner in sports history.

Project 310 - Witch

Season 1, Episode 3 - “Witch”
Original airdate: March 17, 1997
Project 310 re-watch date: Dec. 24, 2008

First off, before I get to anything else, I need to mention that I’d always called this episode “THE Witch”. It’s actually just called “Witch”. Both my DVD and epguides.com confirms that.

Not knowing the actual title aside, I really like this episode. It's among the better ones in this season, and has plenty of little things to like about it.

For example, Cordelia's line about the Laker Girls is funny, since Charisma Carpenter used to be a professional cheerleader (San Diego Chargers) herself. These are the kind of things the writers of "Buffy" -- for this specific episode, it was Dana Reston -- took advantage of. Also, this wasn't something the writers could have anticipated, but it's a kind of cool coincidence that Cordelia went blind in this episode and Charisma Carpenter went on to be The Seer on "Charmed".

The scene in the library right after the opening credits has some of the most quotable lines from the entire season. Both Giles's speech about the Hellmouth and Xander's "I laugh in the face of danger" are mainstays in my iChat status updates (yes, the vast majority of my iChat available and away messages are quotes/speeches/dialogue from "Buffy").

For those that don't know the plot of the episode, basically former Sunnydale cheerleader Catherine Madison switches bodies with her daughter Amy so she can relive her cheerleading glory days. Then Catherine (in Amy's body) continues using magic to knock off her competition for the squad, including Buffy.

I do feel the need to say this: the character of Amy Madison is among the most frustrating in the entire run of the series -- and in her case, I'm including the canonical Season 8 comic. This episode is her first appearance, and really she's the victim of some bad magic. You can see it in her eyes when she's stuck in Catherine's body.

Knowing everything that Catherine put Amy through, why would Amy turn to black magic herself in season 2 (and more seriously in seasons 3, 6, 7 and 8)? It just makes no sense. You can kind of excuse how she ended up in seasons 2 and 3, but seasons 6, 7 and 8 Amy were just absurd. Part of me wonders if Evil Amy has ever considered releasing her mother from the cheerleading statue and teaming up with her (maybe that’s something for the comic to explore -- though the statue was probably destroyed when the Mayor destroyed the school in season 3. Hmm, now I wonder what happened to Catherine when that happened).

Also, I really don't like Season 1 Joyce. I'd say she hits a real low point in this episode, but I want to reserve judgement until I finish the season. She's really very anti-Buffy here -- which is so different from how she becomes late in season 3 and beyond.

I do love how Joyce basically blows off Buffy's comment about "being a vampire slayer" (after Buffy has been affected by one of Amy's spells). It's very much a pre-Slayer-knowing Joyce thing to do. She just ignores the evidence in front of her and goes on with her life.

Next episode: Teacher’s Pet (originally aired 3/25/1997)

Project 310 - The Harvest

Season 1, Episode 2 - “The Harvest”
Original airdate: March 10, 1997
Project 310 re-watch date: Dec. 23, 2008

This episode picked up right where the series premiere left off, literally (back in 1997, they aired back-to-back on The WB).

This is also the episode where the series’ episodic format -- threat presents itself, the Scooby gang does research on the threat, Buffy (with help from her friends) stops the threat. After awhile it could get formulaic (that’s why it’s called a formula), but here it was something interesting.

One thing that really stood out to me here was Xander’s “I don’t like vampires” line. It seems so simple when you first see it, but it really sets the tone for his character for the rest of the series. He’s the only one of the group that never really comes around on Angel or Spike. To him, they’re no different from the vampires who turned Jesse.

Oh yeah, Jesse. It’s easy to forget about him after 144 episodes, but he was a pretty key person in the lives of Xander and Willow prior to Buffy showing up. It’s kind of surprising that he’s never mentioned again after this episode, but really, most deaths on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” didn’t have any long-lasting impact until Buffy’s mom died in Season 5’s “The Body”.

I mentioned this in my write-up of “Welcome to the Hellmouth”, but the split personality of Darla is very distracting when re-watching these early episodes.

Also, it has to be mentioned, this episode features the biggest goof in the entire run of the series -- when Angel shows up at the mausoleum standing in direct sunlight. Again, at the time of first watching it, you think nothing of it, but upon re-watching, it’s hard to ignore (and Joss Whedon even acknowledges such in the commentary on the DVD).

Next episode: Witch (originally aired 3/17/1997)

F@#k the Yankees

Seriously? Sabathia and Burnett weren't enough?

Now, apparently, the Yanks have agreed to an 8-year/$180M deal with Mark Teixiera (not to be confused with comic book artist Mark Texiera, though if they need a comic book artist, they'll probably sign one to a huge deal).

I'm fairly certain at this point that the Yankees will also sign Manny Ramirez, Derek Lowe, Barry Bonds, LeBron James, Brett Favre and Superman.

SportsBytes #3.9

• The Celtics have won 18 straight and honestly look like they could become the second team in NBA history to win 70 games. It’ll be hard for them to win 72 -- like the ‘95-96 Bulls did -- but they’ll have the Cavs pushing them for home-court advantage most of the way, so that could help increase Boston’s win total.

• As for the Cavs, they’ve got a big game tonight against the Rockets, heading home for the first time after a 3-1 road trip. Cleveland has been dominant over the past month, but Im worried that LeBron James’s minutes are getting too high again. Early in the season, LeBron’s minutes were way down (36.6 min PG in November vs 40.4 min PG last season), but now he’s up to 41.0 in the last 5 games, including 3 games of 40+.

• The Redskins came out today and said they’re going to keep Jim Zorn, which , despite my protestations last week, is probably the right move. One of my co-workers is also a Redskins fan and pointed out to me that Washington has more problems than just coaching. Changing the head coach isn’t going to fix the defensive line, and it’ll probably only exacerbate Jason Campbell’s development issues (since he’d have to learn another offense, his 5th in 6 seasons). Still, Zorn should be on a short leash in 2008.

• My official BCS Bowl Game picks:
Rose Bowl: USC 38, Penn State 20
Orange Bowl: Cincinnati 27, Virginia Tech 18
Sugar Bowl: Alabama 30, Utah 6
Fiesta Bowl: Texas 45, Ohio State 10

I’ll have my national championship game pick next week.

Project 310 - Welcome to the Hellmouth

First off, what is Project 310?

Well, it’s simple really. It’s my plan to re-watch the first 4 seasons of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” -- 1 episode a day, or so -- leading up to March 10th.

That day -- the anniversary of the first episode of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, I plan on watching every episode from Season 5 in its entirety -- a 15 hours, 55 minute, 46 second “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” marathon.

As I watch each episodes, I’ll share my thoughts on them, on this blog (which means AdamReisinger.com is about to become significantly more “Buffy” heavy). So enjoy

Season 1, Episode 1 - “Welcome to the Hellmouth”
Original airdate: March 10, 1997
Project 310 re-watch date: Dec. 22, 2008

This is where it all began. Picking up where Joss Whedon’s original “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” screenplay left off, we get re-introduced to Buffy (played by Sarah Michelle Gellar) and introduced for the first time to Xander (Nicholas Brendon), Willow (Alyson Hannigan) and Giles (Anthony Stewart Head). This is the episode that sets up the basics for the next 7 seasons.

Right away, we learn this show is going to be a little different from things we’ve seen on TV before. After seeing it a few times, the first scene might seem trite, but but let's be honest. If you've never seen it before, it's a shock that the "scared little girl" turns out to be the vampire.

The episode does a good job of introducing us to the characters without beating us over the head with introductions (if that makes sense). Some of the concepts that carry over from the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" movie -- including vampires themselves, the slayer and the watcher -- are quickly covered, in case you didn't see the movie.

There are two things that stand out for me in this episode

1) Charisma Carpenter looks amazing. She was 26 years old when this episode was filmed, probably too old to be realistically playing a 16-year-old (actually 15, as Cordelia Chase doesn't turn 16 until later in the season). Still, I agree with any casting choice that puts Charisma Carpenter's phenomenal breasts in my life.

2) The character of Darla doesn't mesh AT ALL with what she ends up becoming. Obviously, this isn't a problem when you first watch the episode, but once you've seen all of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel", you look back at this episode and wonder what they were thinking. Darla is at times very meek and completely scared of Buffy. The Darla we come to know isn’t scared of any fight.

Next episode: The Harvest (originally aired 3/10/1997)

This Week in Buffy History: Dec. 21-27

December 26
UNKNOWN YEAR - Justin Gorence born (played Orlando in Season 5)

Since there’s only one “Buffy” event this week, I’m going to give you a list of the 5 Buffy/Angel episodes you should watch on Christmas.

5. “The Replacement” - Buffy Season 5, Episode 3
Xander does the Snoopy dance. It was mentioned a few times before this, but this was the first time it was actually seen on the show. As a “Buffy” fan, I’d rather see this than watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas” for the 200th time.

4. “The Wish” - Buffy Season 3, Episode 9
This is the “Buffy” version of “It’s a Wonderful Life” -- what would Sunnydale have become without Buffy? And Sarah Michelle Gellar is way hotter than Jimmy Stewart.

3. “You’re Welcome” - Angel Season 5, Episode 12
Everyone’s holiday will be a little better with the gift of Charisma Carpenter (and Charisma’s spectacular chest).

2. “The Gift” - Buffy Season 5, Episode 22
I know it’s a sad ending, but the title makes it a perfect holiday choice.

1. “Amends” - Buffy Season 3, Episode 10
The only true Christmas episode of either series (they mostly did Halloween episodes) also introduces The First, Season 7’s big bad.

This is so wrong...

I don't even know where to begin here. The suggestive pose. The gummy candy that's supposed to be a guitar, but looks like something else. The label saying "individual pouches for portion control". It's all so horribly wrong.

Series of Tubes #1.7

... just a couple of thoughts today, as the number of new TV episodes dwindles down...

- What’s up with this trend of breaking the TV season into a distinct fall and spring season? I’ve heard lots of promos this week for the “fall finale” of a particular series. Basically, that’s the network’s way of saying “this is the last new episode of this show for quite a while.” For example, check out this chart of my Monday TV shows:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Last aired episode: Dec. 15
Next scheduled episode: Feb. 13, 2009 (moving to Fridays)

Chuck
Last aired episode: Dec. 15
Next scheduled episode: Feb. 2, 2009

Gossip Girl
Last aired episode: Dec. 8
Next scheduled episode: Jan. 5, 2009

How I Met Your Mother
Last aired episode: Dec. 15
Next scheduled episode: TBD (January, 2009)

Heroes
Last aired episode: Dec. 15
Next scheduled episode: Feb. 2, 2009

I understand the lack of scheduling new shows around Christmas and New Year’s, but that doesn’t explain the need to keep a show off the air until February. For “Terminator: SCC”, we’ll go almost 2 months without getting a new episode -- after a fall season that saw the show’s audience erode.

If networks took one lesson from last year’s writers’ strike, it should have been that if you give people an opportunity to realize they don’t miss your show, then they’re not going to come back. The series that didn’t come back after the strike have seen ratings continue to fall this season, and now many of these series are the same ones going on these long hiatuses. It’s just a bad idea.

- About 4 months ago, I switched TV providers from Cox to AT&T U-Verse. So far, I’ve been very happy with the U-Verse service, but I recently discovered that AT&T doesn’t offer NBA TV or the NBA League Pass package. Since I’m now working primarily daytime hours, this is a problem, since I need to watch the Cavaliers. Fortunately, the NBA offers League Pass Broadband.

Basically, this means that for $99, you can watch most out-of-market games over the internet.

The system isn’t perfect -- currently there’s no way to eliminate the scoreboard bar at the top of the screen, so you can’t stretch the video to full a widescreen TV (I have my laptop hooked up to the TV so I don’t have to watch in a small window). Also, some out-of-market games are blacked out with no explanation -- I understand it for the games on ESPN or NBA TV, but for other games, I’d like a little blurb or something telling me why I can’t see it.

Still, it’s pretty good, and the picture quality is phenomenal for broadband video. Plus, with all those stupid TV hiatuses, I’ll have more time to watch the NBA.

Fave 5 - 2008 Candidates for Best Thing Ever

Every time I get something new, or see a new movie, or play a new video game -- basically every time something enters my life -- I think “is this the best thing ever?” Well, this year, there were some pretty strong candidates. Here are my top 5.

5. Online Dynasty Mode in NCAA ’09
How incredibly cool is it to play games against your friends? Pretty cool. How much cooler would it be if you could play against your friends in a season mode, and compete with them for recruits? Pretty damn cool, right? Well, this game has nearly perfected that. It has made playing a sports game over and over again fun for me for the first time in years.

4. Britney Spears’s “Womanizer” video
Sweet jeebus, Britney looks DAMN good here. I missed you hot Britney.

3. The Iron Man Fine Art Statue by Kotobukiya
I thoroughly loved the “Iron Man” movie. One of the things that made the movie so great was how great the suit looked. This statue captures that better than any of the other Iron Man movie-related products that came out in 2008. Plus, it lights up! That’s right, the chestplate and repulsor rays in the glow when a switch is flipped. The only thing that could make this better would be if it didn’t completely suck the batteries dry. But it still looks damn cool.

2. LeBron James
This is the sixth year in a row that LeBron has been a “best thing ever” candidate (earning “best thing of the year” honors in 2003 and 2007). He flirted with a 30-8-8 average in the 2007-08 season, and put on another of the greatest playoff performances of all-time in Game 7 of the 2008 Eastern Conference Semifinals.

1. The Dark Knight
I’ve said it before, multiple times, but it’s worth saying again. Best. Movie. Ever.

But is it good enough for Best Thing Ever? Well, that’ll just have to wait until next week, when I reveal my 2008 choice for Best Thing Ever, plus the all-time best runners up.

SportsBytes #3.8: Jim Zorn is the worst coach in America

He said it himself.

Of course, he was probably being sarcastic, but he makes a valid point. The Redskins have enough talent to be a playoff team, but they won’t be. They started 6-2, but they’ve gone 1-5 in the second half of the season -- with two likely losses on the horizon.

The problems in Washington became obvious a few weeks ago when Clinton Portis came out and sarcastically called Zorn a genius, which was actually his way of calling Zorn the worst coach in America.

Well, to be fair, Zorn isn’t that bad. Many people in the media would never admit this, but I’m going to -- Zorn is a better NFL coach than I am. He’s a better NFL coach than my family. And he’s probably a better NFL coach than PooZ.

Does that qualify him to be an NFL coach. Well, not really. Among NFL coaches, I can only legitimately say he’s better than Rod Marinelli -- and the Lions are 0-16.

I wrote back in February, when Zorn was hired, that I didn’t like the hiring. I obviously like it even less now. I also wrote back then that the Redskins could be doing another coaching search after this season. I obviously could be right on that front too.

Again, I reiterate. Jim Zorn... WTF?!

This Week in Buffy History: December 14-20

December 14
1999 - Episode 4.10 “Hush” airs on The WB
1999 - Angel Episode 1.10 “Parting Gifts” airs on The WB

December 15
1998 - Episode 3.10 “Amends” airs on The WB

December 17
2002 - Episode 7.10 “Bring on the Night” airs on UPN

December 18
1953 - Jeff Kober born (played Kralik and Rack)

December 19
2000 - Episode 5.10 “Into the Woods” airs on The WB

Fave 5 (Plus) - Songs on "Circus"

I’ve been rocking “Circus” on my iPod for more than a week now, and I knew a few days ago that this week’s Fave 5 would be picking my favorite songs from the album. Only, I couldn’t really narrow it down to 5. So here’s my ranking of all 15 new tracks on the Deluxe Edition available on iTunes (I don’t count “Radar”, since it was on “Blackout”).

15. Mannequin
- Gotta be honest, this song is a little weird, and not really that danceable.

14. My Baby
- As I wrote last week, one of the things I liked about “Blackout” was its consistency. Part of that was no slow songs -- they’re not Britney’s strength. I know this is a personal song for Britney, but it’s not one I enjoy hearing.

13. Blur
- Really just an “eh” song. It kind of blends with everything else and gets lost.

12. Out from Under
- Among the slower songs, I actually kind of like this one. It’s pretty sweet.

11. Unusual You
- This is like in between a ballad and a dance-y song, but it has something there.

10. Rock Me In
- One of the tracks that isn’t available on the standard album, but probably should have been included.

9. Phonography
- This song isn’t nearly as off-putting as “Touch of My Hand”, but has the same kind of idea (while that was a song about masturbation, this is about phone sex, which isn’t as creepy).

8. Mmm Papi
- Whenever I hear this, I feel like it’s a high school dance party -- which I never actually attended in high school -- but better.

7. Trouble
- Another bonus track, which is just pretty cool. This would have fit in perfectly on “Blackout”, or even “Britney”.

6. Lace and Leather
- The lyrics of this song cover lots of fetish imagery, with a party-type beat and fun chorus. Also, this marks the separation between songs I LOVE on this album and songs I just like (with “Lace and Leather” being in the former category).

5. Shattered Glass
- This song always reminds me of an 80s pop track, with the changing tempos and synth music.

4. Kill the Lights
- I’d probably have this song 2 spots higher if it weren’t for the lame intro at the beginning. The bridge/chorus combo is just incredible.

3. If U Seek Amy
- I have to be honest, when I first heard this song, the secret meaning went totally over my head. Once I figured it out, though, I enjoyed it so much more. It jumped from 6th to 3rd just on the strength of that (and if you don’t get what ‘If U Seek Amy’ means, just say it slowly).

2. Womanizer
- The first single from the album, and the song I’ve played more than any -- just because it came out before the album. I’ve flip-flopped this and #1 on my list a few times in the past 24 hours, but I just feel like this is number 2...

1. Circus
... and this is number 1. The title track from the album has everything I’ve come to expect from a modern Britney track. I guarantee that a few years from now this will be among my Top 10 most played Britney tracks.

SportsBytes #3.7 - K-Rod's a Met

I didn’t write much about the Mets collapse this season (mostly because I wasn’t writing much at all during September). If I did, I would have definitely focused on the disaster of a bullpen New York kept running out there.

But now the Mets have supposedly solved those problems by signing Francisco Rodriguez, the single-season saves leader.

But here’s the thing -- K-Rod doesn’t solve all the Mets problems. Last season, when he saved his record 62 games, he was essentially a 1-inning pitcher. He didn’t record a single save of more than 3 outs. That’s not a top-line closer -- that’s just a team involved in too many close games.

K-Rod also has other noticeable flaws: his K-BB ratio (2.26:1) isn’t particularly good for a closer. He still averages better than a strikeout an inning, but he walks a guy every other inning. Closers shouldn’t be walking guys that often. Also, his velocity drops pretty badly when he pitches on consecutive games -- I’m no expert, but that’s the sign of an injury, or at least the precursor to one.

Now, I’m not completely down on the K-Rod signing -- actually, quite the opposite -- but it’s not the panacea some people are making it out to be. The Mets still have problems from the 6th through 8th innings. They need another reliable bullpen arm before they can really say they’re in good shape there. Then, they just need another starter or two... a good second baseman... a corner outfielder... yeah, they’re totally fine.

The Blu Knight

It's here!

I'm watching this on my PS3 as we speak, and it looks just as good as I remembered from seeing it... oh... 5 times in the theater.

I also signed up for the WB BD-Live site, so as soon as PooZ and I can coordinate our schedules, we'll definitely record our own video commentary, so you can enjoy our awesomeness at the same time as the awesomeness of this movie. That might be so much awesomeness that the world actually explodes.

College Football Top 10 - End of Regular Season

There’s a big shake-up in my rankings -- not because of anything that happened on the field, but because it’s time to get things in order for the postseason.

The way I see it, there are 5 teams that can still win the AdamReisinger.com National Championship, so I’ve moved them into the top 5. First, the teams that are eliminated.

10. Ohio State
9. USC
8. Penn State
7. Texas Tech
6. Alabama

OK, now that that’s settled, let’s get going.

5. Boise State
How they win it all: beat TCU in the Poinsettia Bowl, have Utah lose

4. Utah
How they win it all: beat Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, have Boise State lose

3. Oklahoma
How they win it all: beat Florida in the BCS National Championship game, have Texas lose

2. Texas
How they win it all: beat Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl, have Florida lose

1. Florida
How they win it all: beat Oklahoma

So Florida is the only team of these 5 that controls its own destiny. If either Boise State or Utah is left as the only FBS unbeaten, then I’ll give that team the title. If there are 2 unbeatens, or a fuck-ton of 1-loss teams, then I give it to the team I deem most worthy.

This Week in Buffy History: December 7-13

December 8
1946 - John Rubinstein born (played Linwood Murrow on “Angel”)
1997 - Episode 2.11 “Ted” airs on The WB
1998 - Episode 3.09 “The Wish” airs on The WB

December 10
2001 - Angel Episode 3.10 “Dad” airs on The WB

December 12
UNKNOWN YEAR - Carey Cannon born (played female oracle in Season 1 of Angel)

Series of Tubes #1.6

SUNDAY SHOWS

- The big mystery on “Desperate Housewives” this season -- the Dave story -- is definitely more interesting than some of the stuff that’s happened in recent years. Obviously, season 2 was a debacle and I never liked how the whole Orson thing played out in season 3. Last year’s mystery with Katherine ended with a cool, and incredibly heart-wrenching, reveal, but I didn’t buy it throughout the season. I definitely buy this Dave vs Mike thing.

MONDAY SHOWS

- “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” has turned into the most depressing show on television. It gets darker and darker on a week-to-week basis, to the point where it hurts to watch it. I understand that the story builds to something close to the annihilation of the human race, but does it have to be so emo all the time?

- I’m a spoiler-reader, so I knew what was coming in “Gossip Girl” with Bart’s death, but the way it all unfolded -- leading into what seems to be a bigger mystery with Lily -- was very cool.

- The two-part “Eclipse” episode of “Heroes” was an incredible letdown. This was supposed to be a game-changer. Instead at the end of the 2 hours, Peter was still whiny and powerless, HRG was still overprotective of Claire, Hiro still didn’t have his memories and the general storyline was still fucked. Basically, the whole episode served to clarify that Peter and Nathan are on opposite sides and Sylar is going back to being evil again. Lame.

TUESDAY SHOWS

- I can’t believe “Fringe” is going on hiatus until January. This show is incredible. I finally watched it on my DVR instead of my computer this week, which means that I had to actually deal with commercials (though I still fast-forwarded through them). I love the short-break/fewer-breaks deal that is going on with the show (more TV, less advertising is always good for the viewer), plus the story is getting much more interesting.

- If “Terminator” is the darkest show on TV, then “Eli Stone” has to be the most uplifting. Even when it goes to dark places, the great positive message still comes through. This week’s episode, with the ending scene with Eli’s dad, was phenomenal.

WEDNESDAY SHOWS

- Part of me wants to stop caring about the storylines on “Dirty Sexy Money”, since the show probably isn’t going to continue beyond its current 13-episode run, but I would like to at least enjoy the remaining episodes. And I’m not enjoying the storyline that’s going on with Nick right now. He was supposed to be searching for his father’s killer and stay semi-grounded in the real world. This season, he’s gotten so off track that I really feel like he’s just another member of the Darling family. Super lame.

THURSDAY SHOWS

- “30 Rock” gets funnier and funnier every week. This week’s episode, “Reunion”, was classic. I loved seeing the Liz Lemon flashbacks. The more ridiculous this show gets (Jack pretending to be one of Liz’s popular high school classmates), the better it gets. This is the classic example of how great writing and good acting come together to make a TV show memorable.

Fave 5 - Britney Spears Albums (pre-"Circus")

Britney Spears’s 6th studio album, “Circus”, was released Tuesday, and I have to admit, I’m pretty damn excited about it. I’ve already listened to it multiple times, but it’s still too early to say where it falls in my favorite Britney albums. Still, now’s as good a time as any to rank my Fave 5 Britney albums before “Circus” (since there have only been 5).

5. In The Zone
For me, this album amounts to “Toxic” and not much else. “Me Against the Music” is solid. “Outrageous” is decent. But this album has way too many down moments to be considered an all-timer.

4. Baby One More Time
This kind of surprises me, but let’s be honest. Britney’s debut has 5 great singles, and 6 filler songs. Plus, “From the Bottom of My Broken Heart” and the album version of “Crazy” don’t hold up very well through the years.

3. Oops! I Did It Again
The singles aren’t as strong as “Baby One More Time”, but the non-singles are considerably better. Plus, “Oops!... I Did It Again” is probably my most-played Britney song of all-time, and “Lucky” is my go-to fun/sad Britney song

2. Blackout
There are only 3 real superstar singles on this album, but as a whole, it’s great from start to finish. I can listen to it without skipping a song through the first 11 tracks (“Why Should I Be Sad?”, the last track of the album, isn’t great).

1. Britney
This was the album when Britney matured from a teen idol to a true superstar. “I’m A Slave 4 U” is my favorite Britney song of all-time, by far. Add in “Overprotected”, “Lonely”, “Boys”, “Cinderella”, “Let Me Be” and I can listen to this album over and over again.

College Football Top 10

There weren't any upsets, and everything pretty much went as expected this week, so here's my 2nd-to-last top 10 of the regular season. As a special bonus, I predict where each team will end up in my final top 10.

10. Ohio State
Projected finish: unranked
(I see them losing their bowl game. I'd move them behind a team just outside my top 10 that wins... In fact, if Ball State wins out, I'll give them this spot)

9. Boise State
Projected finish: 7th
(But if they're the ONLY FBS unbeaten, I'll give them the top spot)

8. USC
Projected finish: 5th
(They're going to ROLL Penn State in the Rose Bowl).

7. Utah
Projected finish: 9th
(They will NOT win their bowl game)

6. Penn State
Projected finish: 8th

5. Texas Tech
Projected finish: 4th
(Sadly, they won't even make a BCS game)

4. Oklahoma
Projected finish: 6th
(They'll find a way to disappoint, again. Then again, if they lose expectedly, is it really a disappointment?)

3. Texas
Projected finish: 2nd
(Should be in the BCS title game, probably won't be)

2. Florida
Projected finish: 1st
(2nd national title in 3 years coming)

1. Alabama
Projected finish: 3rd
(They'll be competitive in the SEC Title game, but not enough)