Jersey Monday: Kobe Bryant

I've mentioned this before -- in fact, the last time I did a Kobe Jersey Monday post -- but I don't hate Kobe Bryant. To be fair, I try not to use the word "hate" in relation to something as globally insignificant as sports rivals, but I actually really enjoy watching Kobe Bryant play basketball. I enjoyed it a bit more before the entire Internet turned into one giant "Kobe vs. LeBron" debate and the word "RINGZ!!!11!1!!!!" entered the lexicon, but when Kobe is at his best, he's still an incredibly fun player to watch.

This is obviously an "old-school" Kobe jersey, and it pains me to think that anything involving Kobe's career could be "old" because it makes me feel old. This jersey not only predates Kobe's number change, but it predates the league's apparel contract with Adidas. You can't tell from this picture, but this is a Nike jersey, an authentic one to boot.

I picked this up in 2000 at a Nike Outlet in Maryland, along with a couple other jerseys, for an incredibly low price. It uses a super-stretchy Dri-fit material that was common on a lot of Nike's workout gear at the time, but was uncommon on jerseys. Unlike most NBA (and NFL) jerseys of the time, this one didn't have a visible mesh. Even taking that into consideration, the material was surprisingly light, which made the stitched-on numbers seem extra heavy in relation to the rest of the jersey. It's amazing that it took until 2010 for Adidas to use a mesh-like material on the numbers, making them lighter and more in line with the rest of the jersey.

Kobe wore No. 8 for 10 seasons, and has so far spent six in No. 24. It'll be interesting to see what the Lakers do with retiring his number if he ends his career with an even split, or even a difference of a year or two. I'd think they'll probably end up officially retiring 24, and "unofficially" retiring 8, keeping it out of circulation for as long as possible. As of now, no one's worn it for the Lakers since Kobe in '05-06, but it's a relatively common number around the league, with 20 different players wearing 8 at some point this season.

Jersey Monday should continue every Monday until I run out of jerseys to spotlight. And since I’ve got more than 190 of them, that could be awhile.

Community "Introduction To Finality" Reaction

There were three new episodes of "Community" last night, which resulted in a bit of giant cookie syndrome -- there is such a thing as too much of a good thing (as Troy learned, painfully, in the Season 1 finale). "Community" episodes usually need to be watched at least two or three times to capture everything that's going on, and you can't do that when three episodes air in the span of two hours.

So let's put aside the frantic first two episodes, "Digital Estate Planning" and "The First Chang Dynasty" and focus on the true finale, "Introduction to Finality".

(At this point, it's worth noting that based on production numbers, "Digital Estate Planning" was actually supposed to come last in this sequence, though that could've been due to the added production needs of the video game sequences. "The First Chang Dynasty" really should've come first, because it's the final episode of the arc that started with Star-Burns's "death" in "Basic Lupine Urology".)

Upon first viewing, I felt like "Introduction to Finality" was one of the more grounded episodes of "Community", but that's only the case when contrasted with the earlier two of the evening. It has the ridiculousness of the air conditioning repair school, an appearance by Evil Abed (complete with felt goatee) and multiple weird Dean Pelton outfits. It's a touch crazy, but not by "Community" standards.

The episode itself takes place after another time jump, skipping ahead to the end of summer school. Jeff is about to take his biology final, and doesn't want any distractions. So, of course, he faces nothing but distractions: Pierce and Shirley are fighting after the Dean agrees to let them have their sandwich shop but needs one of them to be the sole owner, Troy is still stuck in the AC repair school separated from the group and Britta is giving Abed therapy, but Brittas it so badly that she's left in shambles and Evil Abed escapes the dreamatorium with a plan to cut off Jeff's arm.

Yeah, on second though, this episode was REALLY weird, but in a grounded way, because all that weirdness was happening in the name of character development, primarily with Jeff. For three seasons Jeff's primary goal has been to get out of Greendale as fast as possible, so he could go back to his job at the law firm. He even starts off this episode reaffirming that desire, emphasizing that failing Biology and having to pick up a class along the way would be a huge setback. But then as he's representing Shirley in the trial to determine who owns the sandwich shop, he gives up that goal to do the right thing and support his friend. That selfless move actually leads to Pierce and Shirley making Jeff the official owner of the sandwich shop, a move that essentially completes his character growth: he's got a purpose beyond "become a lawyer again", a group of people who count on him and who he cares about and, more importantly, currently no chance of going back to his old law firm. I'm sure he'll go through more ups and downs in however many episodes remain, as all people do, but he's definitely emerged from the dark tunnel and come out stronger on the other side.

Speaking of darkness, this episode also wrapped up the "Evil Abed" timeline arc that started way back in "Remedial Chaos Theory." The conversations between the two Abeds, as well as the therapy session with Britta, were incredibly insightful into the character of Abed. He's probably the hardest character to write, and not every Abed-focused episode has been a hit this season, but this was him at his best. I also loved that in Evil Abed's first appearance, he appeared to have a real goatee, while in later scenes, it was clearly a felt goatee, indicating that the later scenes with "Evil Abed" were actually "our" Abed, playing a role.

Troy was also great, if only for the subtle way in which he's matured. At the end of "The First Chang Dynasty", Troy agrees to join the AC repair school as a way of saving the group. In this episode, he gets out of that "destiny" by stepping up and being the mature person in a group of crazies, something that was hinted at with the end of "Contemporary Impressionists", but comes to the forefront here. Troy is no longer the carefree, easy-going "do whatever anyone asks" guy we met three years ago. He's confident, he's smart -- in his own way -- and he's not going to be pushed around.

It was kind of cool to see Jeff, Troy and Abed (and even Pierce, with one comment to Alan at the end of the "trial") grow so much, but it was also a bit bittersweet. It felt like a conclusion, made more so by the montage at the end of the episode. This episode was clearly a season finale, but came across more like a series finale. Thankfully, we know we're getting at least 13 more episodes of "Community", and hopefully #sixseasonsandamovie. Cool. CoolCoolCool.

Charmed Comic Review: Issue #21 - Reversal of Misfortune

FROM THE PUBLISHER

With Magic School's doors no longer open, Knox Academy is one of the few places on Earth that can provide a safe haven for those in need.

Piper, Phoebe, and Paige must team with the staff to protect themselves and their friends from the government's modern day witch hunt that has deemed anyone like them to be the enemy.

140-WORD RECAP
Breezing through the issue, so you don't have to

Phoebe and Parker get caught in a magical battlefield. Coop helps them through the chaos to Knox Academy, where the now “non-magical” beings are hiding. While there, a magic doctor attempts to remove Leo’s wings, and Piper and Phoebe talk about everything that’s happened. The world has gone to crap, and Prue is back out of the picture.

The doctor can’t remove the wings, but heals Leo to ease his pain. Another magic gang joins the battle. Meanwhile Rennek is enjoying his paradise. At Knox Academy, the girls and crew head up to the clock tower, to get a look at the chaos. A fireball blows out the room. They move downstairs to evacuate. Paige interrupts and gets Piper and Phoebe back to the clock tower, where they see things on the street are being handled by an ally – Darryl!

140-CHARACTER REVIEW
Twitter-friendly summary of my thoughts

"Issue struggles to balance exposition and action, but finds a decent footing and moves the overall arc along nicely. Plus, yay Darryl!"

REVIEW COUNTDOWN

FOUR Good Uses of Supporting Characters
- Coop helping save Phoebe (and Parker) at the beginning of the issue without the use of his powers was a nice way of showing how everyone is adapting.
- Henry has the reverse adaptation to deal with, and they show both how he's using his magic and how he's still struggling with it, and both moments feel very natural.
- Tyler, the firestarter, shows up in the Knox scenes, in a nice callback to previous issues. He also serves to explain why everyone is at Knox and not Magic School, in one of the less clunky exposition moments of the issue.
- And Darryl. SQUEE!

THREE Awkward Uses of Exposition
Because of the six month jump between issues 19 and 20, there's a lot we missed. This issue tries to fill in the gaps, and sometimes it's just, well, awkward.
- Paige's response to Phoebe saying she could bear to part with Parker (the other kids are with Victor) is to provide some random piece of information about Henry Jr. It's necessary, but very unnatural.
- The Rennek scene involves him being told about happenings on Earth that, based on his responses, he clearly already knows about. But we don't. So we have to read about it.
- Referring to the chaos, Piper says "Maybe it would have happened differently if everything changed at once." That's a good line, that gives us backstory without sounding unnatural. The follow-up from Phoebe is "I don't know that waking up without our powers would have been better than helplessly watching them weaken and disappear over months." That definitely spells everything out in a much clearer picture than Piper painted, but imagine it as TV dialogue. Just weird.

TWO Huge Action Spreads
- Dean Kotz's strength has always been these over-sized multi-page battle scenes, and he gets two of them in this issue. The first spans pages 4-5, and features two gangs of normal-looking people trading energy balls, fireballs, and anything else they can throw at each other, with smoke in the distance, overturned cars and holes in the street.
- The second, on pages 16-17, is the battle outside Knox Academy. It's a little more pulled back, so the people aren't as detailed as they are in the battle on 4-5, but it's still really cool, and captures the essence of chaos the world is in.

ONE Big Story
- So far through two issues, this story has moved a bit forward while also revealing a bit of what happened in the preceding gap, but it's still a touch confusing. I'm getting the sense that this, more than any of the previous arcs, is going to be a storyline that reads best when complete. Reviewing the individual issues is like reviewing a single act from a TV episode. You have to include where we've been, and make assumptions about where we're going, to really get the whole picture.

Previous Issue #20, The Old Witcheroo Read Review

Charmed #21 Reversal of Misfortune

Next Issue #22, Prue Ya Gonna Call? Read Review

One Month to Slay-A-Thon 2012

My birthday is tomorrow, which means lately I've been hearing the question "what do you want for your birthday" a lot. I've got plenty of answers -- a new house, a new car, a date with Scarlett Johansson, a Heat championship -- but those aren't exactly realistic.

So instead let's shift focus to more grounded desires.

Exactly one month from today, the 10th annual "Slay-a-thon" will take place in Chicago. This event -- which I've previously attended twice -- involves fans of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and the other works of Joss Whedon getting together to watch a marathon of episodes to raise money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

The event works just like most charity marathons: attendees get people to donate to "support" them in the marathon. Only, instead of running or walking, we're watching "Buffy". There are also games and auctions (both silent and live) that help the cause. Last year's event raised more than $20,000, and we're obviously hoping for a big number again this year.

So, what I "want" for my birthday is for those who can to donate to Slay-A-Thon. It doesn't have to be much, but whatever you can spare helps. Here's how to donate:

- Visit slayathon.org and click on the "Donate Today!" PayPal link.
- Enter the dollar amount of your donation, which is fully tax-deductible and log-in to your PayPal account
- Click the link for "Slay-A-Thon Participant Name" and enter my name. Or yours (if you're going). Or the name of anyone you know who's attending the event that you want to support.

If you wanna let me know that you donated, feel free to do so, and I'll figure out some way to thank you. If you want to keep it a secret, you can do that too. It really doesn't matter to me, so long as you donate. Even if you're not a fan of "Buffy", "Angel", "Firefly", "Serenity", "Dollhouse", "Dr. Horrible", "Cabin in the Woods" or "The Avengers" (and if you're not, why not?!), it's still for a very good cause.

How I Met Your Mother "The Magician's Code" Reaction

Way back in September, I was super excited about the return of Victoria on "How I Met Your Mother." She'd always been my favorite of Ted's girlfriends (and yes, I'm including Robin in that assessment), and I thought the show would do some awesome things with her back.

Well, it took THE ENTIRE REST OF THE SEASON, but they finally delivered on that in Monday's two-part finale, "The Magician's Code".

There was a ton of stuff happening in the first half of the episode, between Barney and Marshall trying to get back to New York, Ted and Robin trying to distract Lily from her labor pains with stories (leading to a ton of cutaway flashbacks, some funny, some not) and the eventual birth of the baby. The second half of the episode was a little more streamlined, focusing on Ted/Victoria and Barney/Quinn, but I really cared about two things:

- Victoria's return (in an incredible wedding dress)
- the reveal of the identity of Barney's bride

I'll get to the latter after the jump, but let's talk about Victoria first. As Robin correctly pointed out, she's the only one of Ted's longer term girlfriends who really could've been "the one", and he not only didn't fight for her, he dumped her to go after Robin, who was staunchly anti-family and anti-marriage at that point. That spurred Ted to call Victoria, who, as evidenced by the picture above, was clearly getting married, but decided to meet Ted anyway.

They talked, and Ted realized he had to do the right thing and get Victoria back to her wedding, but on the way there, he did the most un-Ted-like thing ever and drove past the church. Yay for Ted for just fucking going for it. Sure, this obviously won't end well, and will probably end after a single episode next season, but I'm in favor of anything that gets Ashley Williams back in my life.

Now, as for the OTHER big part of the second half of the episode...

Desperate Housewives "Give Me The Blame/Finishing The Hat" Reaction

Sunday's "Desperate Housewives" series finale was promoted as a two-hour finale, but really it was two separate episodes airing back-to-back. The first, "Give Me The Blame", was centered around wrapping up this season's main story: the fallout from the murder of Gaby's stepfather Alejandro at the end of last season. The second, "Finishing the Hat", took care of the lingering subplots from the season in a way that also wrapped up the series as a whole. And by splitting up the conclusions this way, the show created a satisfying final trip to Wisteria Lane.

The twist in the first hour, in which Karen McClusky "confessed" to the murder to save both Bree and Gaby, was unexpected in its execution if not its theme. While the past few episodes have tried to tease the possibility that either Bree, Gaby or Carlos could end up in prison at the end of the series, that seemed both too depressing and too "Seinfeld"-ian to actually happen. When the episode opened with the touching scene at Karen's house, where she finally realized the core four saw her as a friend, the outcome became inevitable. That isn't to say it was bad, far from it, it just wasn't a "shocking" twist like we've seen with previous "Desperate Housewives" season finales.

But this wasn't just a "season" finale, it was a "series" finale, and that's not really the appropriate setting for a shocking twist. If anything, the series ended with a bit more of a muted twist, one that was more grounded in real life than anything it's done before. Toward the end of the episode, the girls are playing poker one last time before Susan moves away with Julie (and the baby, who was born earlier in the episode simultaneously with Renee's wedding and Karen's death, in one of the cooler scenes the show has done in years). They say they'll make sure it's not the last time they're all together, but as we see in a coda, it is. Eventually Lynette, Bree and Gaby all leave the Lane, all going their separate ways, living their separate, successful lives.

The coda itself was narrated by Mary Alice, as most of the show has been for eight years, and was incredibly touching, particularly in the way it ended. Susan driving off, past the "ghosts" of Wisteria Lane -- and at some point in the scene I couldn't help but think "holy crap, this show has killed off a TON of people" -- wasn't designed to make us sad, but to drive home the message that though people come and go in our lives, the people who impact us are always with us in some way.

I'd been down on the last few seasons of "Desperate Housewives", including this one, because they weren't as strong as the early ones (the Season 2 misstep excepted). But this finale was as good an episode as the show has had in years, and a fitting way to say goodbye. I even loved the hint at a "secret" the woman moving in to Susan's home was hiding, as a way of saying even if "Desperate Housewives" is gone, Wisteria Lane will live on.

Jersey Monday: Jermaine O'Neal

With the Indiana Pacers facing the Miami Heat in the second round of the NBA Playoffs, it seemed like an appropriate time to feature this jersey from my collection, one that connects the two teams.

Though he no longer plays for either franchise -- or ANY franchise, for that matter -- Jermaine O'Neal has links to both the Pacers and the Heat. After opening his career with four forgettable years in Portland, O'Neal came to the Pacers, where he blossomed into a star. He played more than 500 games for Indiana, averaging 18.6 PPG, 9.4 RPG and 2.4 blocks per game, making six All-Star appearances. He even finished third in the MVP voting in 2003-04, the year he, Ron Artest, Al Harrington and company nearly led the Pacers to the Finals.

The Pacers went away from this uniform style to their current duds in the '05-06 season, and I picked up this authentic O'Neal jersey super cheap on eBay a year later. By that point, O'Neal's best Pacers days were behind him, and in 2008 the team shipped him to Toronto. Midway through that season, the Raptors sent him to Miami, where he was mildly effective in the 2009 playoffs, and significantly less so in 2010. Last year, he was a non-factor AGAINST the Heat for the Celtics, and now he's out of the league after suffering a season-ending wrist injury and being released by Boston.

It's fitting that O'Neal's jersey number here is 7, since that's also the number of seasons his prime lasted -- his first seven years in Indy. Also, no player has worn the number since he left the Pacers or the Heat (though in the latter case, we're talking two seasons. Not a huge sample there).

Jersey Monday kind of disappeared for awhile there, but it should continue every Monday until I run out of jerseys to spotlight. And since I’ve got more than 190 of them, that could be awhile.

Updated Comic Book Movie Rankings: "The Avengers" in at #7

I can already hear the comments from the people who only read the headline. "What the hell?! Number 7?! How could you think there are six better comic book movies?! COUNT DA RINGZ!!!!1!1!!"

(Oh, wait, that last one snuck in from a LeBron debate... my bad)


Well, to clarify, I don't "think" anything. My rankings aren't opinion-based -- well, at least not MY opinion -- they're formula based.

Now here's the part where you yell at me and tell me my formula is broken. To that I respond, "yes, I'm well aware."

See, the comic book ranking formula I came up with includes both total box office (domestic, not international) and box office as a percentage of budget in its calculations. That works great for movies that have completed their runs, and usually not so well for movies that are still in theaters, or, in the case of "The Avengers", practically brand new.

For example, last year when I first put "Thor" into the rankings, it barely cracked the top 50. By the time it was done with its theatrical run, it was just outside the top 20. Making more money helps. Making "Avengers" type money helps A LOT.

The $207-million opening weekend makes "The Avengers" the 12th-highest grossing comic book movie of all-time. Even with a soft Monday, it should be up to 10th by the end of the day. It will likely be in the top five by this time next week. So the limited box office data isn't as much of a drag on the overall rating in my formula as it usually is after 3 days, which is why "The Avengers" -- which would be No. 2 if box office data were removed from the equation entirely -- is already in the Top 10.

As for projecting forward, even if "The Avengers" surpasses "The Dark Knight" as the all-time comic book box office leader ($533,345,358), it wouldn't knock it from the top spot in the rankings. To do that, the final domestic box office haul would have to be approximately $670 million, which would make it the second-highest grossing movie of all-time behind "Avatar". Even then, it's no guarantee, since "The Dark Knight Rises" could come along and mess everything up.

Still, it's safe to say that as of right now for comic book movies it's "The Dark Knight" and "The Avengers", then everything else.

UPDATED TOP 10 - THROUGH MAY 6, 2012

10. X-Men (2000)
Score: 82.4
Best category: Audience Liked (81%, 11th)
Worst category: IMDB score (7.4, t-21st)

9. Spider-Man (2002)
Score: 82.7
Best category: Box office ($403M, 2nd)
Worst category: Audience Liked (65%, 46th)

8. Batman (1989)
Score: 85.5
Best category: Profit margin (+617%, 2nd)
Worst category: Rotten Tomatoes Critics (6.6, t-28th)

7. The Avengers (2012)
Score: 85.9
Best category: Audience Liked (96%, t-1st)
Worst category: Box office ($207M, 12th)

6. 300 (2007)
Score: 87.0
Best category: Audience Liked (90%, t-4th)
Worst category: Box office ($210M, 11th)

5. X2: X-Men United (2003)
Score: 87.2
Best category: Audience Liked (84%, t-9th)
Worst category: Profit margin (+95%, 18th)

4. Batman Begins (2005)
Score: 87.9
Best category: IMDB Score (8.3, t-3rd)
Worst category: Profit margin (+37%, 34th)

3. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Score: 89.1
Best category: Box office ($373M, 3rd) and Rotten Tomatoes Critics (8.2, 3rd)
Worst category: Profit margin (+87%, 19th)

2. Iron Man (2008)
Score: 93.0
Best category: Audience Liked (91%, 3rd)
Worst category: Profit margin (+127%, 13th)

1. The Dark Knight
Score: 98.0
Best category: Box Office ($533M, 1st), IMDB Score (8.9, 1st) and Rotten Tomatoes Critics (8.4, 1st)
Worst category: Profit margin (+188%, 10th)

On "The Avengers" and the Joss Whedon Moment [Spoilers]

Note: this post contains major spoilers for the movie "The Avengers". If you have not seen the movie, do not read this post. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Turn away. Go see the movie. Seriously, even if you don't eventually want to read this post, see the movie anyway. Even if you haven't seen "Iron Man", "Iron Man 2", "Incredible Hulk", "Thor" or "Captain America", see the movie. It's that good. Then come back and read this post. If you HAVE seen the movie, then, by all means, read on.

This is your last warning. I'm fucking serious. I can't express enough how much I don't want to spoil this movie for you, but I also couldn't wait to post this. So don't blame me if you read it and then you're all like "Oh man, I can't believe you spoiled that for me."

Also, this has spoilers for the movie "Serenity" and the TV show "Angel". But those came out forever ago. The Alliance created Reavers. Wolfram & Hart sends L.A. to hell. Snape kills Dumbledore. Darth Vader is Luke's father. Deal with it.

Review: Angel & Faith #9 - "Daddy Issues, Pt. 4"

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Still reeling from her father’s unexpected appearance, Faith goes rogue, taking on Drusilla and her pet demon. It’s time to burn off some anger. Angel is hot on her tail, but he may be too late to save her from Dru, and ultimately herself.

140-WORD RECAP Breezing through the issue, so you don't have to

Faith is getting brain-sucked. Angel shows up too late. The Lorophage has taken her “pain”. Angel asks how she feels about killing Professor Worth. She doesn’t respond. Angel wants the demon to reverse the process. Drusilla says no, and attacks Angel. The Lorophage jumps into the fight, and tries to mind-suck Angel. Faith jumps in to stop it, realizing she’s made a mistake. Faith takes Dru, Angel takes the Lorophage, and flips his talons on him. That kills the demon AND unleashes all the pain he “took” back into the world. A horrified Dru turns crazy again, and actually thanks Angel for doing so. Everyone else isn’t so grateful. Dru escapes. The mob attacks Angel and Faith. They get out and have a big wrap-up convo. Faith admits she saw in the fight that Angel’s getting pieces of Giles’ soul.

140-CHARACTER REVIEW Twitter-friendly summary of my thoughts

"Dialogue-heavy issue touches on lots of key themes in the Angel/Faith relationship while taking another good step in the ongoing Giles story"

REVIEW COUNTDOWN

FOUR: Things I liked